I write this not to take a determined stance on how sex should be done, but to point out that our tepid attempts to heal do not acknowledge the urgency and magnitude of trauma women and girls are experiencing on a global scale. In other words, I am asking an impossible question: what would sex look like in utopia?
The function of utopia is to show us what we’re capable of. How we can be better, how we can heal. Shoot for the moon and you land among the stars, they say. We used to do this exercise in theater class where, if the director thought we were underperforming, he’d have us perform wildly exaggerated versions of our characters. Only when we’d crossed the line from “realistic” to “caricatured” were we able to wind back the dial and find the perfect level of performance – not too hot, not too cold. Juuust right. In the same way, we must discuss utopian sex.